I have decided to resurrect this blog - I stopped using it partly because I had become aware that the brethren were watching it. But that's ok - I am happy for them to read it now. But anyone commenting do please note that this blog is public.
I think I have said elsewhere that I am doing a lot of reading at the moment. As I read thoughts come into my head and I long for a discussion but who to talk to. I try on Facebook but those threads are hard to find later as they scroll down the page. Also they are often highjacked which is fine - that is what FB is for.
So I am going to try raising questions here and then alerting people on FB to them.
Costs and benefits. Research seems to show a consensus that religion and good mental health go together. That of course is a loaded question - what is religion and what is good mental health. Both are multidimensional concepts. I am currently reading a paper that asks the question does membership of a cult or high demand group mean that we cannot weigh up the costs and benefits of belonging. They talk about findings that suggest Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses ignore the costs or (mis) perceive the benefits. By ignoring the costs or by misperceiving the benefits they choose to stay - they no longer can weigh the costs and benefits of belonging up. The authors of the paper then talked to both Moonies and JWs and found that actually they did know what the costs were e.g. the Moonie said that if Rev Moon is right then great I am on the floor of the greatest event in history but if he is wrong - so what, i was probably going to spend the rest of my life on the factory floor anyway. This to me is a kind of insurance policy and one that I once used. If God exists then i am on the right road, if he doesn't then what have I lost.
What the Moonies and the JWs did say though was that the benefits offset the costs - warmth, family feeling, busy often exciting life. They were fully aware of the costs but the big benefit of eternal life or whatever was so large that these were offset. In other words, the writer concludes, there was no evidence that the members were ignorant of the costs, or under compulsion and were not bearing them because they were brainwashed
So what is your experience - when you were a member, were you aware of the costs of the high time commitment, the financial commitment, the rules, the loss of family etc and if so did you offset them with the benefits and what were those benefits?
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3 comments:
My experience inside the PBCC was deeply negative. My mother was, in hindsight, deeply depressed so we siblings were neglected both physically and emotionally. She clung to her religious world and shunned social contact. The house was shabby and dirty and had it not been for my dad, we would have been in dire straits. My mother's indifference to her family and others in general together with her total commitment to her God was a most unattractive package which turned me off of religion and the life that we were forced to live. This was the case from a very young age. At school I saw another life that appealed so when I left at 21 I did not look back. There were no positives tugging at me so I forged ahead in my chosen world and forgot about my family.
Hello, Will Enoch Sr aka @Great_ReTweeter here. Thanks Jill for your offering another Platform to brainstorm and hopefully find a way to topple these cults and get our Families back.
My expertise is Watch Tower Bible and Tact Society, aka Jehovah's Witnesses. I was a victim of that fateful knock on our door in 1965 and until mid-2005, still thought JW.org was absolute "The Truth".
My main tie to that sick organization was my family. 5 siblings still in and 1 trying to get back in since early '70s. Mama and Daddy are in the past tense.
My main reason for low rebelling and living a double life from the '70s-2001 was my believing the perfection cost was too much for me to bear. I figured I could fool my family into associating with me.
My decision to "give up" by confessing my double life and rebelling outweighed the cost of losing my family.
Now, I trust Cult Alumni over my siblings.
My testimony is here: http://EnochEnochEnoch.wordpress.com/about
Welcome Eleanor and Will. Thanks for sharing your stories. Eleanor, sounds like your childhood was really tough. My research supervisor said to me 'there must be something good about being raised in the brethren' - well maybe for some sometimes there is but it is not a given. I have heard of other parents, mothers mostly. who clung to their religious world to the detriment of their children. Often there is good reason for this - apart from anything else they too are indoctrinated.
Will - the more I hear about the JWs the more I find them similar to the brethren. Like you many of those who do manage to leave, find the loss of their family the biggest hold. it stops them leaving. Family - the loss of, Fear - of something bad happen, Finance - leavers often lose their jobs and their inheritance are the three big ones.
I will take a look at your blog. Thanks
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