The numbers for the quantitative study are gradually creeping up - bit slow so if anyone is reading this who once used to be in the exclusive brethren (or another brethren group like the Rentons) then contact me.

I was talking to a  friend the other day about why it might that two people born in the same group (i.e. the exclusive brethren) and therefore one would think had similar experiences, actually experienced being raised in the brethren in very different ways. We talked about the parents being the gatekeepers - that is some parents not only 'let' the brethren into their family life but embraced their doctrines of separation fully. The boundary between the family and the EB was therefore very blurred. Other parents however, by closing the gates a bit mitigated the brethren messages of extreme separation. These families not only allowed independent thought but encouraged  it in their children by having open discussions, allowing the child to question and then provided the answers etc.

My parents especially my mother were in the former group. Even though I was born at the end of WWII before the extremes of JTJnr - the doctrines of separation were already deeply entrenced and mother, the gatekeeper did not close the gate to this rigid way of living that denied children a normal healthy upbringing and she did not open the gate to the outside world. She controlled these gates through lectures at me when she felt i had transgressed. She loved me i know and i know she did all this out of love but how misguided she was. Other families, even those currently in the exclusive brethren, seem to manage the gatekeeping roles much better. They have a degree of autonomy from the exclusive brethren and healthy discussion is facilitated.

I have found preparing the paper for the Montreal conference very stressful so i appreciated this discussion with  my friend. He has never been in a cult but as a counselling psychologist too he has a sound knowledge of how families work.

I don't know if people are listening to this blog - it would be nice to get some feedback and for you to share your stories too.